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Do you set off FIREWORKS in your own life? Let’s talk self-sabotage.

🤔 Do you know the ways in which YOU self-sabotage in your life?

😩 Do you recognise self-sabotage by how you feel?

🥺 Is your self-esteem so low that when anything remotely good comes your way, you don’t feel you deserve it?

OK, well if any of the above sound familiar it could be because you are self-sabotaging and it’s time to fess up and get familiar with how you are getting in your own way. Once you become aware of how your self-sabotage shows up and what your triggers are you can start to make a plan to get out of your own way.

There are many reasons that may cause us to self-sabotage but often it is due to our thinking patterns, our fears and trying to avoid those things we find most difficult or challenging.

Things that we perhaps just put down to circumstance or shrug off as part of our character are in fact us self-sabotaging. Have you ever blamed someone unreasonably when things go wrong or started an argument for the sake of arguing? YES! Well that could be another sign of your self-sabotage.

Self-Sabotaging behaviours manifest differently in different people however there are some familiar signs you are self-sabotaging. Procrastination, fear of failure, comparison, belittling yourself, being in the wrong relationship to name but a few.

Another common sign is when we get close to, or have what we want and then we do everything in our power to go about sabotaging that dream or achievement. As I write this it sounds ridiculous, why would anyone do this, let alone to oneself? Why would you put in all the hard work or whatever it took to get you what you want in life only to ruin it? Well raise a hand 🖐🏻 if this sounds familiar, I know it does to me.

My self-sabotage used to be closely linked to my internal messaging system. When I started my first business that voice went something like this……….




CRAZY talk, but there it was. Until that is, I got my own coach and did the work of examining the truth of what I was telling myself. It turns out that I liked to tell myself a lot of things that simply weren’t true. Hello lightbulb moment.

SO, my message to you is simple start today to understand yourself, start first with forgiving yourself for all the times you’ve told yourself something this is untrue and unkind. Write down when you do certain things, what was the trigger? Pay attention to your behaviours that end in a negative result. Be honest and detailed about the situations and the feelings you are experiencing. The more you invest now in understanding yourself the easier your future becomes.

Here are some of the ways that self-sabotage might be showing up in your life.

Consider addressing any habits you become aware of one at a time. Small steps are key here to creating lasting sustainable change. Focus on the patterns that are having the most negative effects on your life and relationships and devise a plan to change them. It does take time but with the help of a coach it is possible to take the negative behaviours and repattern them into new positive behaviours.

Our mind and subsequent behaviours determine the life we lead.

If you are struggling with anything mentioned in this article or want to understand the behaviour patterns that are getting in your way, book a call today. I’d love to help.

Nikki 🧡

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